Understanding our parents

There was something coming up after a conversation with my Mbak in Bandung. We were talking about our parents, who are getting older and older.

I just realized, when engaging in a conversation, I often placed myself and my mother in a situation as if the conversation had happened 20 years back -- when I was a teenager and my mother was still full of energy. I often think she is as strong as she was at that time. I almost always expect her to be strong, patient, and understanding. I almost completely forget that people change, especially when they grow older.

Mbak is right. It is me who have to understand my mother, as well as other elderly people. Even they still look strong, they have weakened. Physically, of course, but mostly also emotionally. They need caressing hands. They need a shoulder to lay on. They need safety and peace of minds. They need smiles from their children. And it is my job to bring those things to them, to my mother especially.

In fact, those are the only things I can do for my mother.

And suddenly I can feel what my mother thinks when I look at my children. Oh boy, I am getting older now...