What is happening to me ?

In the last one month or so, I have been feeling myself change. I don't know what's happening, but I see things with more comfortable and optimistic feelings. I see my family members as golden arrows who have their own goal and mission -- and I am sure they can accomplish their mission. I see problems as challenges -- and there will eventually be a good solution for them. I see my own life more meaningful -- I can see paths where I can contribute something.

Alhamdulillah...Please keep this clear for me ya Allah, so I can move ahead and keep tracking the shiraatal mustaqim.

A personal call

I often think about my world. I am an academician, so I am living in the world of lectures, research, and education-related services. I keep on saying to myself, even though I have been holding executive positions at a few units in my university, I am in no way a naturally-born manager. I have no formal education and training in management, so I just walk on and do my job.

By the way, the administrative world is completely different from the academic world. Being in the two worlds at the same time makes me feel uneasy. I can't push myself to the best possible performance in either direction. I keep on thinking that I can't be an excellent lecturer, nor a good manager. But that does not really bother me, since I realize, that is my path. That is what I have to do to serve others. That is why I am created.

And yesterday a close friend pointed out that I have the capability to serve my worlds, simultaneously. I can be a good lecturer, but more importantly, I can also be a good manager. My friend told me that I have some hereditary talents and should explore and expand them.

Ya Allah...if this is true, then perhaps You are showing me your guidance. You are telling me how I can improve my service to my institutions, my fellow friends and colleagues. Perhaps this is the answer to my recent prays.

A new personal call has been placed in my heart... InsyaAllah, Gusti, I will take this task -- but now with no hesitation.

Being a father of a teenager

When I read my 14 y.o. daughter's blog, I smiled. She is growing up, I said to myself. She's developing into a girl, not anymore a child. Her way to express herself, her way of communicating with her friends...some of them even I do not know of.

Well, that reminds me of my youth. We share some similarities. We enjoy the full fragrant of life. We slowly leave off our childish habits, and transform ourselves into new, grown-up characters. But there are also differences. Our environments are different, and perhaps our perception and attitude towards life as well.

And that brings a mixed feeling to me. Sometimes I feel afraid: why is my daughter different from me ? But then I realize that we live in different worlds. There is no way I can enforce my world to hers. Then suddenly I am reminded: this is my call as a father. I have a responsibility to care, nurture, and guard my lovely flower so that she can blossom in the most beautiful way.

So Rizka... go get your stars in the sky. Fly as high as possible. Just one message from me: make yourself useful for others, because this is how you realize your obligation to Gusti Allah. Gusti Allah does not need you. He wants you to realize His perfect plans -- through your hands, delivering His blessing and love to humankind and the universe.

I am right behind you, my daughter... As I am doing my mission, too...